Out of the Closet into the Fire

naked man1Due to my career as a police officer (recently retired), I kept my erotic writing a secret. I live in a small conservative town and to top things off, my husband works for the school district. All were a combination for disaster.

When “Play” the first book in the Completion series hit the USA Today Best-Seller list, I wanted nothing more than to scream my success from my front living room window.

I didn’t.

But unable to hold back my excitement, I called family and friends and told them the great news. After the final phone call, my heartbeat continued its fast pace as I sat back in my comfy chair and prepared to announce the news to my friends on Facebook and Twitter.

I carefully keep my private life and real name hidden, spending most of my social media time as my alter egos Holly S. Roberts and D’Elen McClain. My daughters follow my pen names along with a few close friends but the small town citizens remain peacefully unaware.

Or, at least they did until my youngest daughter, unable to hold her pride for her mother in check, copied the USA Today link and posted it to her Facebook account with the words, “My mother made the USA Today Best-Seller list.” She attended high school here and her friends all know me.

My secret was out and for several minutes, I sat in stunned silence. After a few deep breaths a feeling of relief came over me and I began laughing. It was time to throw open that window. I posted my own link to my personal Facebook account and prepared for the fallout. Informing my husband of my success (he never answered his work phone so he was the last to know) and then giving him the news that I was no longer in the erotic closet, couldn’t have gone sweeter.

DH (huge grin on his face) – “You mean they could fire me tomorrow?”

We both laughed. The following day, a teacher came up to him and asked why he hadn’t quit his job with all the money I was raking in. His reply… “I’m waiting for someone to piss me off and then I will.”

Teacher (after laughing with delight) – “So she writes books like Fifty Shades of Grey?” she whispered.

DH – “No dirtier,” he whispered back.

Really he didn’t know that “Play” is not dirtier (he doesn’t read romance) though a few books I’ve written give FSOG a run for the smut. I truly love this man who supports me whether I say, “I know I’m forty-five years old but I want to go to the police academy and become a cop,” or “I really want to write erotic romance because I love reading it and it sells.” He gets me.

I guess the moral of my story is that my porn star legendary writing was short-lived here. I wasn’t as important as I thought and my husband, much to his disappointment, didn’t lose his job. I don’t notice side whispers when I go out in public and the women don’t shun me.

I love erotic romance, I will continue to read and write it, and I’d like to see more writers stand up and shout out their hidden names. But every closet is different, I just know from experience that the flame is not as hot as I feared.

20 thoughts on “Out of the Closet into the Fire

  1. I love that your daughter was so proud she had to post it on her FB page. As one of your readers you deserve it. I love your books. I’ve been reading you as Holly Roberts for a while now and just found you as D’Elen McClain and love you as both. Will be reading your books for some time.

  2. Congratulations, your husband and family sound wonderful and you deserve every success, and I for one thank you very much, I love your books.


    Dawn Xxx

    Sent from my iPad


  3. I so happy for you that your family are proud of you because you write awesome books and you so deserve being on the Best Seller List I feel you will be there for all of your books

  4. I love that your daughter was and is so proud of you she wanted to tell the world bless her. It’s shows what a loving supporting family you have. Xx

  5. I have never read your books but I am truly interested. Good luck in the future and your family rocks. (The women in your town read your book under the covers eith a flashlight) lol

  6. I was curious about your books, just purchased Amy’s Story. Love it. Do not want to put it down. Thank you for coming out of the closet.

  7. Congrats! You deserve all your wonderful accolades! I hope you write more for the Completion series- like hockey or boxing? Oooh, if you want something different how about Ironman Triathlon? (I lived in Tucson and we used to get all kinds of guys training for that….::insert big smile::) Please open a FB page for your writing so you are easier to keep track of!

    Amy S.

  8. My hero (heroine doesn’t fit the bill because women have never been given the worship status we deserve). My idol. My who-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up (oh, I know I’m olderthan you by a decade, but you won’t judge). I’m so happy to have purchased that first book, PLAY, by Holly S. Roberts. I found the most prolific writer whose books I’ve ever had the pleasure to read. Each of your books are (pardon this) unputdownable. Your characters come alive and the reader is hooked. I love that everything you write is from your heart; it shows. Because of you I’m beginning a new journey that keeps me where I feel the happiest, lost in the world of literature. Keep on entertaining the masses. A million thank yous.

  9. Have I told you I love you lately?
    You are an incredible woman and author.
    I am honored to know you.
    It was only a matter of time that you would be on USA Today best-sellers.
    Glad you did not get rotten tomatoes and people are more open-minded as you thought!

    Mary xx

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